The body text in the poster still required a fair bit of reworking and I had a feedback tutorial with Sian today. Here are some of her comments on it; body text still needs some twinkering, don’t repeat the word information twice in the same sentence, change the word ‘pleasant’ to something else as a ‘more pleasant shopping experience’ sounds like somebody would pop by the aisle and give you a shoulder massage while you are shopping (lol). Coincidentally, after my feedback tutorial with Sian, Anthony – the copywriter was also giving feedback tutorials and I got the opportunity to meet him and get some quick pointers on the body text. He liked the direction with the poster etc and how it has progressed since the last time we met, http://hello.iampingpong.com/?p=1357, where we both encountered a bit of a writer’s block in writing the copy for this campaign. He also pointed out that he liked the additional details of the words, Confused, Complicated, Misleading which have been worked into the shelves of the supermarket.

The new body text reads:

Nowadays there’s so much information bombarding shoppers,
it can be difficult to digest.

Visit showmethelight.co.uk and show your support
for a more palatable shopping experience

And here’s the revised poster>>